by Deb Garraway
February 22, 2011

To Get A Man, Do You Have To Be Beautiful?

Does she think beauty helped her get a man?

The photo in this post is a common example of what we see on TV and in magazines as idealized feminine beauty: slim body, pretty face, and a good-looking guy who’s obviously intrigued with her. Most of us don’t realize how the deluge of subconscious messages we receive daily affects the way we feel about ourselves. The media continually reminds us that we need to lose those extra pounds, have perfect teeth, beautiful skin and hair, and be sexy to get a man.

Beauty’s only skin deep

Like many women, I was told by my mother that beauty’s only skin deep and I passed it on to my own daughter. I taught her that real and lasting beauty is what’s inside you and who you are as a human being. That all sounds good, but the daily bombardment of messages we get about what is beautiful, overpowers those maternal clichés. This is especially true when it comes to beliefs about how to get a man. (more…)

by Deb Garraway
February 15, 2011

Love Poetry and Romantic Fantasy

…Tremble with me
in paralyzing pauses.
I may no longer breathe
without breathing you.
~ Judith Pordon

Ah, romance, how we love it—hate it—crave it—resist it—long for it—deny it. We’ve just passed one of single women’s least celebrated days. Red hearts are displayed in every store, along with sentimental Valentine’s poems, cards with schmaltzy love poetry and the musical theme from the tear-jerker movie Love Story, or worse yet An Affair to Remember. (more…)

by Deb Garraway
February 8, 2011

What The Love Of My Life Taught Me

the love of your life really is out there

The love of my life turned out to be so much more than I expected in a dream man.

Before meeting him, what I didn’t realize is that the right man can inspire you in ways you couldn’t imagine before. Since all of my previous relationships had been full of drama of one kind or another, the qualities I dreamed about for my ideal partner were more around wanting laughter, mutual respect, and most of all harmony.

While I’m productive, solution-oriented and somewhat of a perfectionist, I’ve always believed I’m easy to get along with, fun-loving, and not easily angered. My goal is generally to look for the positive in most everything and to immediately go to problem-solving and to avoid drama. In my heart I believed there was a matching man out there with a complementary personality. I decided I would no longer settle for one who prefers negativity and emotional chaos. That desire was firmly seated in my heart and became the most important priority in qualities I wanted for the love of my life. I was determined not to settle for less, and I finally got exactly what I wanted. (more…)

by Deb Garraway
February 3, 2011

Dating In The Age of Text Messages


If you’re not already a veteran texter, you’ll probably succumb to the trend eventually—it’s just so convenient.

And if you have kids still at home, then you know how texting makes it easier to keep track of them and remind them of what you think should be important. But what about dating and texting? A new study reveals that a woman who’s been texting with a guy before meeting him is apt to find him more appealing. That makes some sense to me—if the guy is articulate and comfortable being charming electronically. But it also concerns me that some of us are starting to rely on text messages more than actual conversations. When the whole goal is to say what you want to say in as few words or characters as possible, how can you really expect to communicate the emotional subtleties of dating? An emoticon will never be a substitute for an actual smile shared across a table while his hand lingers on yours. (more…)