by Deb Garraway
February 22, 2011

To Get A Man, Do You Have To Be Beautiful?

Does she think beauty helped her get a man?

The photo in this post is a common example of what we see on TV and in magazines as idealized feminine beauty: slim body, pretty face, and a good-looking guy who’s obviously intrigued with her. Most of us don’t realize how the deluge of subconscious messages we receive daily affects the way we feel about ourselves. The media continually reminds us that we need to lose those extra pounds, have perfect teeth, beautiful skin and hair, and be sexy to get a man.

Beauty’s only skin deep

Like many women, I was told by my mother that beauty’s only skin deep and I passed it on to my own daughter. I taught her that real and lasting beauty is what’s inside you and who you are as a human being. That all sounds good, but the daily bombardment of messages we get about what is beautiful, overpowers those maternal clichés. This is especially true when it comes to beliefs about how to get a man. (more…)

by Deb Garraway
December 22, 2010

Will I Find My Soulmate to Be Mr. Perfect?

Your perfectly imperfect soulmate

Whenever I hear anyone say, “no one is perfect” or “no relationship is perfect”, I get a little annoyed.

It’s not that I disagree with the literal meaning of either statement, but I wonder why anyone would even want to be with Mr. Perfect. I’ve been in relationships in which I thought I did find my soulmate and wanted to believe he was perfect in every way. Well, I got over that fantasy eventually.

Perfectionism—in this case meaning extremely high expectations in someone or for everything to be smooth-going with no rough spots–is an unrealistic illusion.

Perfection in My Soulmate

Perfection has many different standards to everyone, including some of the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves for what we think we should be or become for a man. (more…)
by Deb Garraway
October 14, 2010

Maybe It Isn’t About Mr. Right At All

Could I be resisting my Mr. Right?

So many people say all the good men are taken that lots of women have come to believe there is no Mr. Right for them.

Then they can go on to bash all the men they manage to date who fail their standards. Which of course becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. If this resonates with you at all, I have a radical idea for you. What if you flipped your mind around and allowed the possibility that there ARE plenty of good men still out there. And further—what if you considered whether or not the problem could lie with you. (more…)

by Deb Garraway
October 10, 2010

Where the Heck Do I Find My Soulmate?

I really want to find my soulmate

I just finished reading Patty Stanger’s book called Become Your Own Matchmaker.

Stanger is best known as the Millionaire Matchmaker with a popular television show by that name. While her TV persona is somewhat brazen and raunchy, she comes off more empathetic and kinder in her book. I think she’s pretty sharp and gives great advice to women who come to her with the recurrent request to help me find my soulmate.

Stanger has good suggestions for places to seek out the coveted soulmate,

some of which are highlighted below. I can only give you part of the list without her permission. (more…)