Love Lessons
My Dream Man had three small boys when I met him. He was fifty and I was forty-seven, with
a twenty-three-year-old daughter. There was nothing in my story about having small children
in my life, and I never imagined I would become a stepmother in my late forties. However,
I found that raising his children was the best thing that could have happened to my life. I
had a second chance to create a bustling home life that was very different from the one I’d
experienced with my daughter who was an only child. I hadn’t realized this was something I
deeply desired. As a result, the Dream Man Story Creator now includes more categories and
questions designed to provide you with clarity on all the Big Questions. It’s still my Dream
Man’s strongest qualities, essence, and values that make our marriage work today; it’s not the
specific events and circumstances that have occurred in our lives. Remember, you’re looking
for a man who complements and satisfies your deepest desires, and he may come packaged
in a way that you never expected. Keep an open mind.
Attract
Create
Reflect
Now what?
STEP 3. Attract—Manifest Your Own Ending
“Your energy speaks louder than words; be aware of what signals you’re sending.”
Congratulations on completing the Story Creator.
You are now clear about what you want. Now that
you’ve filled in the blanks, you have a deeper sense of
what you’re looking for in your Dream Man through
magnetic resonance. But the process isn’t quite finished
yet. This final section guides you through the process of
attracting your Dream Man. Be sure to type or write
out your story in full. Reading the story in its final
form is a critical part of embodying it and igniting the
attraction factor. You’ve done all this hard work—don’t
stop now or the process won’t be complete.
While you’re reading your Dream Man story, you should have a smile on your face, a sense of
fulfillment, and a powerful connection to your man. It can be exhilarating. You will actually see
and feel your life with the man of your dreams.
When you bring your Dream Man story to life, you will begin to attract men with complementary
energy who resonate with your deepest desires. This will support you to find someone
who’s energetically compatible, which is what he’ll be looking for, too. Compatibility is based
on mutually harmonious and congenial feelings. By internalizing your clear vision with feelings
and declaring your truest desires, you will change your resonance and attraction factor. You’ll
see men differently and they’ll see you differently, too. Most women try to make their dreams
come true by directing their thoughts out into the world with lists, wishful thinking, and hope.
However, attraction actually happens through changing your energetic resonance to bring your
dreams to you. Your Dream Man story creates and empowers this magnetic resonance.
You’ve probably met people with intense energy
who either repelled or attracted you. Your body is
a system comprised of energy centers that receive
and emit electromagnetic force fields. (If you want
more information on this, I recommend The Heart
of the Soul by Gary Zukav.) Your deep beliefs and
thoughts create feelings and emotions that radiate
either positive or negative force fields—your energy.
This occurs constantly, whether you like it or not,
and your energy can be subtly seen and felt by others.
While others may not always accurately or consciously
identify your feelings, they can sense either
a positive or negative vibration. Your feelings are
sending out energetic signals that resonate and attract
matching energy—and you can’t fake it. Your
energy speaks louder than your words. For example, if you carry around a deep-seated belief
that ultimately all men are destined to cheat, you are more likely to attract men who will fulfill
your belief. Doesn’t it make sense, then, to change your thought patterns and beliefs to what
you want rather than what you don’t want? What you do is minuscule compared with what
you choose to think. Thoughts are powerful, and they are the only thing in our lives that we
can actually control. But you can’t create what you want from your mind alone. You need the
emotional connection of your thoughts with your feelings. Our bodies respond to our emotions,
either positively or negatively. You know you’re connecting with your feelings when you
can feel energy and emotional reactions in your body.
Thoughts + Feelings = Creation
There are numerous books and films on the Law of Attraction,
and the principle has been embraced by some of the greatest
achievers of the twentieth century. In his 1937 book, Think and
Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill wrote, “Any idea, plan or purpose that
is brought into the conscious mind and repeatedly supported by
emotional feeling is automatically picked up by the subconscious
brain and carried out to its conclusion.” He extolled the power of
visualization and burning desire (feelings) as the secret to having
anything you want. Other contemporary self-help authors and
speakers—Gary Zukav, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and Dr. Deepak Chopra, to name a few—speak
passionately about the power of intention in creating your life through focused thoughts and
attention on what you desire. More recently, the phenomenon of The Secret has swept the
world. It is an inspirational introduction and illustration of the power of attraction.
I like the Wikipedia definition of the Law of Attraction:
“People’s thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether
or not they’re aware of it. If you really want something and truly believe it’s possible, you’ll get
it. The Law of Attraction claims to have roots in Quantum Physics. According to proponents
of this law, thoughts have an energy which attracts whatever it is the person is thinking of. In
order to control this energy to one’s advantage, proponents state that people must practice four
things:
1. Know exactly what you want.
2. Ask the universe for it.
3. Feel, behave, and know as if the object of your desire is on its way.
4. Be open to receive it and let go of the attachment to the outcome.
Thinking of what one does not have, they say, manifests itself in not having, while if one
abides by these principles and avoids negative thoughts, the universe will manifest a person’s
desires.”
For more information on how this powerful law relates to relationships, I recommend Esther
and Jerry Hicks’ The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships. My Dream Man Story?
1. Keep fine–tuning until it feels complete to you. Condense it to reflect only what’s
important to you.
2. R ead your Dream Man story every da y for a couple of weeks or more. Reading it
aloud while envisioning it in your mind can add even more juice to the process and make
it feel more real. Your goal is to create new neural pathways in your brain for your new
beliefs and attitudes. You want them deeply embedded in your subconscious so that your
magnetic resonance sends a clear signal. This time frame for reviewing your story varies
among women; it’s based on when you feel a sense of completeness. It needs to become
part of your cellular fabric. I read mine every night for two weeks before I went to sleep,
which helped me to fully embrace and embody my story. The first week I found myself
tweaking it to be more specific and adding things I’d missed. You’ll know when you
embody your vision because it will feel good in your heart and you can speak to others
about what you want clearly and decisively. The purpose of the process and story is to
extract your truest dream, see it in writing, feel it, claim it, and fully embody it. You are
clear-headed and heart-connected and have spent a lot of time thinking and writing
about what you truly want, so you can’t pretend it doesn’t exist or devalue anything you’ve
written. Your goal is to see your life with this man all the way into feeling the emotions
of having him in your life. When you read your story, feel the feelings of every aspect of
what you’ve envisioned. This is the secret to transforming your energy to create magnetic
resonance, which will draw him to you like a hummingbird to nectar.
3. Keep your story handy. Keep it within easy access—in your desk, journal, or
nightstand—to review whenever you need a reminder. There’s no need to be overly
preoccupied or intensely focused on your story beyond the first several weeks. You now
emanate the energy and resonance of your vision, and your actions move you towards
your goal.
4. E dit and upda te it as you date. As you change and grow, make sure your story matches
your growth. Updating your story will reap great results in renewing the energy you
radiate.
5. P ractice. View each new man you date as practice in moving a step closer to your ideal
man. Keep notes on the men who are not a match to see if they have similarities with
each other (revisit the “Themes That Didn’t Work for Me” activity under “What I Don’t
Want” in Part 1). If they do, this may be a clue that something inside you still is resisting
the man of your dreams. Ask yourself what inside you is causing attraction to the same
traits or patterns in men. When you remain aware and start to notice patterns, it is far
easier to redefine what you “deserve” and focus your attention on releasing the block in
your energy and magnetic resonance.
6. S hare it with a potential Dream Man. When you think you’ve found a man who
may be the one, if you’re comfortable, show him your Dream Man story and see what
he thinks. WARNING: Be certain that you share a mutual intention towards each other
first. Revealing this too soon could be overwhelming to him. When I eventually showed
my husband my story, he took everything to heart, remembers what it said to this day,
and does his best to remain my Dream Man.
7. U se it to write your authentic bio. Use all of this insight to create your online
dating bio that proclaims the authentic you and what you’re looking for in a man. That is
tantamount to sending your electromagnetic signal over the Internet. Focus on what you
want rather than what you think he’s looking for.
8. L ive your ideal relationships with everyone in your life. Look at what you’ve
discovered about your patterns, values, and desires. You’ll likely find yourself interacting
in a more empowered way with other people and situations in your life, both personally
and professionally.
Radiate My New Energy to Attract the Man of My Dreams
You are now ready to employ your attraction
techniques. You’ve cleared out your old beliefs;
identified who you are and what you love and
value; and created your Dream Man story and
hand-written or typed it in full. Now you’re
ready to ignite the attraction factor that draws
him right into your life. While the preliminary
activities and creation of your story began the
process of transformation, reading the vision
helps you fully
integrate your new way of being. Your energy is shifting to be
more in alignment with the new beliefs, thoughts, and feelings
evoked from reading your story. Once you cement these new
thoughts and feelings in your body, you’ve claimed them and you
aren’t going to lose them. You naturally begin to radiate a new
energy of self-knowledge and a clear vision of your man and your
relationship. This causes you to resonate a powerful magnetic
signal that broadcasts: This is who I am, this is the man I want,
and this is the relationship I deserve to have.
PART 5. What To Expect Next
“Radiate your feminine potential, attract the man of your dreams,
and you will change the world.”
My Perfectly Imperfect Dream Man
You may be wondering: Is my Dream Man going
to have every quality I describe in my story? He might,
but more likely he’ll possess most, but not all, of those
qualities. Then again, you may also get more than
you imagined. You can expect to attract a man who
embodies your most deeply cherished qualities. Your
priorities will also become clear without your having
to think about them. You’ll notice more men coming
into your life with more of the qualities you want,
but you’ll no longer waste time on men who aren’t
an energetic and complementary match. You’ll sense
and assess men through the filter of your core values
rather than through your old programming, outdated
fantasies, and misleading surface evaluations.
Are you saying he’s going to be a perfect man who does everything right, and that we’ll never
have problems? Absolutely not. Being human is about making mistakes, facing challenges, and
overcoming obstacles—mixed in with pleasurable
experiences, personal fulfillment, and
joy. The man of your dreams is someone who
fulfills your deepest desires and complements
your way of navigating the highs and lows of
life. After the sizzle fades, you want to know
you’re with a man who nourishes your heart
and soul through any adversity.
How long will it take to find my Dream Man?
This isn’t possible for me to answer since it depends so much on two people’s personal circumstances
and divine timing. However, your part in the equation is to make sure you are breaking
through old patterns and healing the places inside you that resist having him in your life. See
the Related Reading in Appendix A if you’re interested in additional resources to assist you in
healing emotional blocks and patterns. I met my husband eleven months after I wrote my story,
but other women have met theirs sooner and others have taken longer.
Expect Surprises
Paradoxically, while your actual Dream Man might not look exactly like the mental picture
you’ve conjured, you’ll begin to recognize energetic synchronicity from your Dream Man story.
You’re attracting his energy and the feelings you want to experience and not exclusively the
external package. He might show up with qualities and new experiences you hadn’t expected,
and those can add new and wonderful dimensions to your life that you hadn’t anticipated. Just
as your home’s interior design can be changed and enhanced dramatically by a fabulous piece
of furniture you find, so too can your relationship be improved by a Dream Man who brings
delightful and unexpected attributes.
Through this process, the more you learn about what you love and what’s important to you, the more
options for men open up to you. This process encourages you to create new relationship visions that
are less superficial. Keep an open mind to allow a relationship to flow naturally.
Arielle ’s Story : See how she got an unexpected dream man package.
