What’s Different About This Book Choose Him?

Although the title and subtitle state what this book is about—getting clear, defining what you want, and attracting your dream man—the value of this process hinges on the issue of choice. You get to choose him. What a novel concept! What’s unique about this book is the Choose Him Process, a three-step process that’s detailed in Part 4. This process is unlike anything you’ve ever done. The Dream Man Story Creator is much more than a visualization—it’s interactive, fun, and freeing, and it encourages you to dream big and manifest what you create. The Choose Him Process is wholly unique, and if you can allow yourself to be open to the whole process and see it through from start to fin¬ish, what you’ll end up with will change the course of your life. The Choose Him Process is:
• a stirring, rewarding, and fun experience that ends with a detailed, tangible, and vibrant story of your come-to-life Dream Man.
• a process that’s designed to:
~ assist you to transform erroneous and limiting beliefs and patterns10 Choose Him
~ uncover deeper levels of authenticity to reveal what you truly desire in a man
~ maximize your radiance and your attraction factor
• a tool to help you understand your old ways of thinking and make space for new ideas, to connect with your feelings, and to ignite attraction from your authentic personal power, feminine intuition, and wisdom.
• a source of inspiration to help you shift limited perceptions and futile dating techniques to help you find more joy and romance in your own life.

Although the Choose Him Process is the key to breaking out of your limiting belief systems and finding—and choosing—the man of your dreams, Parts 1 through 3 are valuable to under¬standing how you got here and how to best take advantage of what this process has to offer. It’s important to orient yourself to the material you’re about to get into, so that you understand how truly deep-rooted our patterns about how we think about men really are. My intention with Choose Him is to help you out of your antiquated beliefs and paradigms—those things that are subtly holding you and women everywhere in self-denigrating patterns of social inequality. This book is about a paradigm shift. It’s about creating awareness around the evolution of women and men in relationship, leaving old romantic fantasies behind (being swept off your feet to fate and chance), and shifting to intentional partnering through energetic compatibility and what I call magnetic resonance—your energetic echo. By the end of this book you’ll not only be equipped with your Dream Man story, but also with useful tips and a shifted perception of your own behaviors that will help you navigate the dating world in an empowered way.

Part 1: You Learn How to Attract Men and You Get to Choose the Man of Your Dreams

“You are significant, you are influential, your potential is essential. You are fempotent!”

From Frustration to Freedom

By the time I awakened to the fact that my relationships were not advancing at nearly the same pace as my professional life, I was mad. I wasn’t angry with any of my exes, or with men in gen¬eral. I was perturbed at the paradigm that exists in our culture that tells us that women must be chosen by men, that we must meet what we’ve been conditioned to believe are male standards of beauty and desirability. Of course, underneath this anger was plenty of sadness, too—that the reality of my situation didn’t match with what I’d always believed I could have. I now know that much of that has to do with the cultural expectations set up for young girls around what to believe about love and relationships.
In my interviews with over one hundred women, I found that most women, consciously or not, still cling to an underlying belief that men hold the power to define our beauty and value. They
are the ones who govern the customs for dating and decide whether to ask us to marry them. Simply put, we continue to relinquish the power to define our feminine identity to men. And it’s not their fault. My expert sources tell me men are confused. It’s not that they want all that responsibility, either. In part it’s a tradition we don’t know how to redefine, and in part it’s the media, movies, and cultural norms that continue to endorse and advance the paradigm.
When I finally shed that limiting perspective and began defining who I am and what I want, and declaring that I would accept no less than my ideal man, my entire way of being shifted. I felt a sense of personal power when I gave myself permission to choose my life partner accord¬ing to my authentic standards and needs. I decided what I wanted. I let go of the mindset that my identity ought to be defined by men and that I needed to be chosen by a man. That concept was truly liberating.

So what about you? Do you identify with any of the following thoughts or experiences?

• I’m smart, attractive, make my own money—I’m a great catch. Why don’t I have a man?
• What’s wrong with me? Aren’t I lovable?
• I’m tired of being alone.
• Who am I and how do I fit in the world without a man?
• I don’t want to grow old with no one to love me and share my life.
• I’m tired of drama and just want a real partner and friend to share my life.
• Isn’t there a man out there who really understands me?
• Men used to chase me and I had my pick of them; now they don’t even see me.
• How am I supposed to be or act around the men I meet?
• I’m so uncomfortable and anxious out there in the dating world.
• Why am I asking for more pain and heartache with a man?
• Trying to find the right man is too much work and disappointment.
• Dating is too hard. I give up.

Part 1: You Get to Choose

If you’ve had such thoughts, you are not alone. The good news is that there’s a way through these painful and confusing feelings. There’s some work involved, but the end result will be well worth it, and you can do it privately in your own time without a coach or instructor. The Choose Him Process is a personal, intimate, and exciting process that will give you so much more than your Dream Man. It will reacquaint you with your true self, enhance your way of being and feeling about yourself, get you clear about what you want, and give you tools to em¬power yourself in an authentic way. There are no games to play or phony rules to follow. You get to be you—just more of the real you. I’ve translated my forty-plus years of mistakes, hard knocks, and painful experiences, along with those of countless other women, into a process that has positively changed my life and their lives—and gotten us what we want.
Instead of our identities being derived from the reflection of men (and what we think they want), we can redefine our identity through our own mirror of authenticity, worthiness, and the truth of what we truly want. I believe women are the quintessential creators and have the power to evolve cultural ideals and expectations for ourselves and our relationships. This begins with individually claiming who we are authentically, what we care about and value, and how we choose to live our lives from a place of self-love and genuine personal power.

Dispelling the Myth

It’s important to clear up the myths of scarcity of available men, and that all single women are desperate to find a mate. The U.S. Census Bureau’s 2005–2007 Survey reports for the 35–64 age range, there are 1.7 million more men than women who have never mar¬ried. It is only the 65-plus age range that shows significantly more single women than men, primarily due to women being widowed at four times the rate of men.
To give you the highlights, the following summary shows the statistics for the ratio of single women to single men from the 2005–2007 census. The detailed comparison can be found in Appendix B.
2005–2007 American Community Survey Ratio of Single Women to Single Men
Age Range Single Women Single Men
20–34 9 11
35–44 8 8
45–54 8 7
55–64 3 2
65+ 3 1
Add to these statistics the numerous studies conducted by experts such as sociologist E. Kay Trimberger, author of The New Single Woman, and the American Association of Retired
People’s 2006 study of women ages 45 and older. They tell us that modern single women are for the most part happy, with satisfying lives; and they’re content with the prospect of remaining
single. They have fulfilling relationships either cohabiting with a partner or nonexclusive dating and they have strong friendship networks and deep connection with family and community.
The majority of the AARP surveyed women (81%) are enjoying the freedom from caretaking others and see their later years as the chance to focus on themselves and do the things they’ve
always wanted to do. Of course, for many of us, finding the right partner in later life means being with someone who supports us in what we’re already doing—whether that means focusing on the things we’ve always wanted for ourselves or pursuing new dreams.

Why Are You Single?

The question of why you are single might seem obvious to you, or it might be something you’ve been avoiding being truly honest about. Regardless of what’s true for you, it’s important to ask yourself this question and to get clear about the answer so
that you can be proactive about what you want as you move forward.
My research has revealed that as much as we women
think, dream, fantasize, and talk about romantic relationships,
we don’t realize where we’re lacking clarity or what specifics we should consider in pursuit of a partner. We talk mostly about what we don’t want rather than what we do want. Those negative thought patterns restrain us and keep us in a loop with the same pattern of disappointing relationships. So many of the women I interviewed didn’t realize how necessary it was to create a clear vision of their ideal man. Instead, I often heard beliefs such as:
• I’ll never find that one man exactly right for me.
• All the good ones are taken.
• Men are too much work; I’m probably better off single.
• The men I meet are emotionally unavailable.
• All men are alike, I can’t trust them.
• I’m not pretty enough (thin enough, young enough, smart enough) to meet the right man.
• I have to compete with younger women for the limited available men.
• If I have to be the one who changes instead of the man, I quit.
• A good relationship is hard work. If it takes this much work to have bad relationships, what
will it take to have a good one!

• Nobody’s perfect so I have to take the good with the bad, even if I don’t get what I really
want and need.
• I’m strong and don’t really need much from a man.

These are common beliefs, and perhaps one or more resonate with you. These beliefs reveal an
explicit need for a new approach, and an emotionally creative process to envision and attract
an ideal mate. Most women have never gone beyond writing a list of qualities they want in a
man, if that. Many are confused about being too picky, how much to compromise, and what
is unrealistic about their desires. They often complain about the peculiar and emotionally unavailable
men they continue to meet through online dating services, blind dates, and elsewhere.

For many women, real life experience reinforces these belief systems until we assume there just aren’t any good men out there anymore.

We get frustrated and burned out on the dating game. And legitimately so! If this speaks to you, then you’re about to step into the reality of creating your own Dream Man story and attracting him into your life. There may be many reasons why you haven’t settled into a life partnership”

Why Haven’t I Attracted the Love of My Life?

• You’re consumed by a demanding (and perhaps fulfilling) career.
• You maintain high standards for the kind of man you want, but lack the tools to know how to find him.
• You’ve been enjoying being footloose and not tied to anyone else.
• You’re ambivalent about the whole notion of marriage and settling down.
• You have only witnessed poor relationship models, and you’re skeptical that anyone canexperience a successful, loving, long-term partnership.
• You’re already feeling like a failure when it comes to love, and you’re afraid to allow yourself the possibility you may be hurt again.
Jan’s Story :

One Day I Woke Up Single—Now What?

Let me tell you about Jan. She is forty-nine and has never been married or had children or
even dated much. She loves her career and that’s where her attention had been, until her last
birthday. She realized life was passing quickly and she began soul-searching and questioning
why she had chosen the single life and whether it was a mistake. Since our culture is so family oriented, she said she felt somewhat relegated to an unimportant role in life. Many parents
she met over the years told her that raising their kids had been the most important thing they’d ever done, and it seemed to Jan that it gave them a feeling of significance. Feeling it
was too late for her to have children, she realized that she wanted to feel a sense of her own purpose by sharing her life with a partner, and yet, she pondered, “How does someone my
age, who isn’t exactly a beauty queen, meet anyone?”

Jan feels like many women who come to this conclusion, women who don’t have a clue about navigating the dating world, including the ominous prospect of online dating. They have crushing
thoughts like, “It’s too late,” or “I’m too old,” or “I don’t know if I could share my life after being single for so long.” I want to reach out to any and all of you who might feel this way and let you know that there is hope, and a way to create the life you want, even at a mature age. I’ve met women who found their dream partner in their seventies and eighties.

There’s a Dream
Man for every woman.

So now back to the question of why you’re single. It may be something you take for granted, something you don’t even ponder. Regardless, I encourage you to do a quick self-examination
and see if there are any surprising answers floating around in your subconscious. Just jot down anything that comes to mind when you ask yourself: Why am I single?
I’m single because…_______________________________________________

You might find your answer is a mixed bag of conscious choices and old limiting beliefs. As I mentioned earlier, your intuition knows something is wrong with the mating game, but you’re
uncertain what to do about it. We can create different results if we change limiting beliefs and perceptions of what is possible. I’m going to show you how to dream the possible dream.

PART 2. How to Get the Most
Out of This Book

“With your dream man, you become more of who you are
and who you aspire to become.”

Give Yourself Time—You Deserve It

Dedicating the time and space required to move through the Choose Him Process is key to getting the unparalleled value this book has to offer. It’s truly worth an investment of introspective you-time. After all, this is about your life and what you really want.
It’s important for you to know up front that this process will involve some contemplative thinking. It might take you several sittings of concentrated time to complete the process, especially since it’s about you and your love life. What you’re going to get is hugely important. It’s not only clarity about yourself—it’s
clarity about what you want deep inside, and living your dream life with the man of your dreams.

Part 2: How to Get the Most Out of This Book

A New Way To Choose the Man of Your Dreams

At this point you may be rearing to go—and I don’t blame you! If you want to move onto Step 1 of the Choose Him Process, you’re absolutely free to do so. But I also encourage you to read
the section that follows, whether you do it now or later, as it offers valuable background information about how we got here in the first place. I’m proposing that there’s a new way through
to the future of healthy, harmonious partnerships. It’s based on identifying and clearing out our old ways of thinking and replacing them with something new. It’s about being authentic
and empowered in relationship and drawing to you men who think this is sexy and irresistible rather than threatening. Do you think this sounds like a pipedream? I assure you—it’s not. I’ve
witnessed women go through this process and let go of their negative thinking only to attract the very relationship they hadn’t dared to want.
It’s important for you to know that this process can bring up some pain and discomfort. It may even reveal some belief systems we wish we didn’t have—or didn’t know we had. But mostly
it’s meant to be fun. As much as it’s about finding your Dream Man, it’s also all about you. It’s a process for getting to know yourself better, and for understanding where you’re coming from so that you can become a powerful creative force in your own life. What could be better than that?
Much will be revealed as you go, particularly for those of you who are mired in pessimistic beliefs about men and the possibility that you can have what you really want. If this is true
for you, I strongly encourage you to read the next section before jumping ahead. It’s genuinely important for us all to understand the cultural conditions that set the stage for where so many
of us find ourselves today.
For those of you who are ready to go, take a deep breath and start to feel the possibilities of creating the vision, the man, the partnership, and the life you’ve always dreamed of.

PART 3. How Did We Get Here?

“Our future is in our ability to create authenticity-based,
harmonious relationships. It’s up to us.”

Relationship Paradigms

Paradigms are mental models and frameworks through
which we see our world or reality. They are cultural belief
systems that act as automatic filters for our perceptions,
causing us to think and behave in certain ways. Paradigm
shifts occur when society, as a collective whole, begins to
behave from a new set of beliefs. For example, in the 1960s,
during the anti-establishment movement, young people
began to view sex and “free love” as their right, and the shifts
that happened as a result of that time have had long-lasting
cultural, social, and behavioral ramifications that inform the
way we think and act today. Similarly, at that time there
was radical dissent against the Vietnam War, and African
Americans and women began to take powerful stands for
their rights. These groups questioned and even revolted against religious dogma, and educational,
social, and political doctrine. In other words, they made strong statements about the
need to re-evaluate the foundation of our beliefs, practices, values, and behaviors in all aspects
of our lives. And it worked. They caused major social change that is impacting us to this day.

Part 3: How Did We Get Here?

Paradigm shifts typically occur through these types of upheavals
and rebellions; as a result of scientific discoveries,
technological advances; and because of social and business
revolutions that we see leading to global expansion
and interdependence. These shifts are how we evolve as
a human race, hopefully for the better. In recent decades,
things seem to be changing so rapidly that it’s hard to see
where we’re still operating from outdated paradigms. We
forget to question the validity and current relevance of some
of our beliefs and practices, oftentimes because it’s simply
easier to continue with the same thoughts and the same way
we’ve always done things. Especially if there is no specific
cataclysmic event or uprising, there is nothing to wake us
up and force us to update our belief systems and personal patterns of thought and behavior. There
haven’t been any riots or government intervention mandating that we upgrade our relationship
software. This explains why our romantic relationship paradigms have not shifted and evolved to
match our social evolution.
Stick with me on the following topics because they’re related to the
“man channel” and what’s keeping you from having what you want.

The Power of Choice

Do you value choice? I’m talking about your options, alternatives, personal preferences, sumptuous
selections, diverse elections, and unlimited possibilities. Consider how different it feels to shop in an abundant farmers’ market with plentiful choices versus having to make do with scraps you had to pull from a dumpster to feed your family. If a trashcan was your only choice, you would experience a sense of scarcity and not enough, compromise, sacrifice for others, humiliation, low self-esteem, self-criticism, low energy, fear, and hopelessness. On the other hand, the abundant market would give you a sense of unlimited supply, confidence that you will find what you want, and the natural awareness that you can decide what you want, select the best, and be satisfied with your choices. Women have this power of choice in every decision we make, but many of us feel (consciously or unconsciously) more like we’re standing at the
edge of that dumpster when it comes to our romantic options.
Taking a look back through our history will uncover unexamined beliefs. These old and ingrained paradigms constitute our sense of limited choices. For thousands of years, women have suffered discrimination, humiliation, and abuse due to the perception that we are the physically and intellectually inferior gender who must
depend on men for our survival. Until the midtwentieth
century, most women’s primary goal in life was to be married, raise a family, and be provided for by a man. They had to relegate
their own wishes and cater to the needs of their men. Alongside the pervasive paradigm of inequality, women’s natural nurturing and caregiving instincts, coupled with their desire for security, shaped their behavioral patterns of compromise, sacrifice, self-denial, and low self-worth, all of which led to seeking approval from men. Most of these women had no choice. By today’s standards, they were controlled, judged, devalued, and disrespected within the accepted paradigms of those times. It is no wonder that many women have to work through a strong inclination for “people-pleasing.”
Now, I’m going to take a big leap here, but I’m going to suggest that too many of us are subconsciously carrying the residual survival patterns of our mothers and female ancestors. It was
only a few generations ago that we got the right to vote, and only thirty years ago that the Equal Rights Amendment for nondiscrimination on the basis of sex was introduced. My own mother experienced tremendous adversity growing up in the South in the 1930s and ’40s. Marriage was her only legitimate means of survival. I personally carried many of her deep-rooted
beliefs and patterns, many of which spurred my quest for my own identity, authentic power, and wholeness.
Women’s rapid advancement in many arenas this past century, through legal
regulation and political activism, has enabled us to achieve new levels of financial independence and self-determination. But through my years of research, discussions, observations, and
coaching women, it is apparent that the energy of inequality and limited choices still resides in us. There is no one group to be blamed. Certainly men cannot be responsible for solving an
impediment so deeply embedded in women’s psyche when most women are not conscious of these subtle, programmed limitations.
So how do we change programmed limitations? The first step is awareness, just recognizing they exist and that they control our feelings and our decisions. The next step is knowing what is true about you, what you feel, and what you truly want; then you make decisions from this place
of clarity. We experience feelings, emotional reactions, and process our thoughts based on our beliefs, and we make choices and decisions from those points of view. For example, you might
find yourself very attracted to a blue-collar man, and you are in a professional management position. You may automatically eliminate him as a potential partner because of your belief that
you must have a man of the same educational, financial, and social status as yours. You assume that he must not be educated and he must not have a high enough social or financial status
due to his career choice. When you get new information, however, you can change your beliefs, which in turn changes your feelings about things. For instance, after an extended conversation, you might find out that this man is very intelligent, confident, and secure in who he is, and that
he’s traveled a great deal and decided to do the work he loves instead of pursuing a professional career. He may suddenly seem more interesting and attractive and your feelings about him
change. You then realize that you made a snap judgment based on superficial observations, so you decide he could be a potential partner. You learned from this experience to not be so quick
to judge a book by its cover. When you change your beliefs, and therefore your feelings, you see your choices differently, and you make more informed, new decisions.
This book provides you with some new information and perspectives that can help you see your options in new ways and help you make more informed decisions about yourself and
for yourself. Throughout this book, you will find many
references to outdated ways of thinking, many in the
form of women’s personal stories and revelations. You
may even be surprised to uncover your own limited belief
systems and find that they are keeping you trapped
in paradigm prisons. We are not held there against our
will. The prison doors are unlocked and all we have to
do is walk through them.

The work you’ll be doing in this book is about more than exposing our outdated beliefs and relationship paradigms. It’s also a logical and sensible approach to intentional transformation and conscious choices. By introducing an evolved concept for partner selection, this book provides guidance on how to allow your energetic compatibility to take the lead in how you attract men to you. Your energetic compatibility has to do with that magnetic resonance, or energetic echo, I mentioned in the introduction to this book. In other words, what are you resonating into the world about what you want. Energetic compatibility includes core desires and needs, complementary values, lifestyles, ways of handling conflict, intimacy, and communication. When you have energetic compatibility across these qualities, you will have a relationship in which you’re being supported to be your true and authentic self—and you’re doing likewise for your man. It’s past time that we base our long-term relationships on realistic guidelines and expectations consistent with our evolution and circumstances today. Our society is in love with romance because it feels really good—temporarily. We worship the uncontrollable feeling of connecting and melding our energies into magical union with faith that love will conquer all. The exquisite harmony we
experience with sexual chemistry is often mistakenly believed to lead to harmony in all aspects of the relationship. It’s clear we need to reorient ourselves from hormonally induced romantic
fantasy to authenticity-based romantic reality. And we do have the choice.

The Power of Authenticity

When I talk about coming from an authenticity-based romantic reality, I’m talking about being genuine and having integrity in your relationships by acting in a way that is true to yourself and
your beliefs. Authenticity is when your thoughts, words, feelings, and actions are in alignment. You don’t confuse yourself and others with mixed messages and energy. Any time something
feels natural and not forced, or doesn’t create a sense of discomfort or negative emotions, it’s a sign that you are being authentic and true to yourself. When you’re consistent in your expression, you know what you stand for and you’re more centered, calm, and clear. To be true to yourself in this way
means speaking your mind and letting others know how you feel and what you want. It’s not possible to attract or be in an authenticity-based romantic relationship when you aren’t clear about what you want. My definition of authentic personal power is when conscious choices and decisions are made from a
place of present-moment awareness and clarity:knowing what you feel, what you want, what is real, and what is really happening—and then taking responsibility for your own experiences and the outcomes. When you’re authentic, you
do things because you want to fully express yourself in every way and live from an honest place within yourself. That is being true to yourself and honest with others about who you really are.
When you do this, you give space to live from a place of greater capacity and self-awareness that you may have wanted but have not explored until now. You will finally let go of the attitude
that you have to settle or compromise your desires. When you do this, you begin to more fully live your potential, and you can
start to better appreciate what you have to offer. Others will also see and respond to you more positively, since it’s obvious you’re acting in integrity and alignment with the real you. You’ll begin to attract more of what you want in all your relationships and your life. I invite you to ask yourself how authentic and vulnerable you’re allowing yourself to be in your relationships.

Authenticity Is the New Game—Get Real

The Choose Him Process will guide you to find your way back to authenticity and genuine personal power. Our media and culture focus on superficial images of beauty and stereotypical
behaviors for women and men. And it’s not easy to escape assaults to our self-esteem by the continual onslaught of messages aimed at making us feel insecure so we’ll keep buying more products, reading more magazines, and watching more TV. We can’t walk into a store without seeing negative magazine headlines about women’s bodies, relationship make-ups and breakups, and ways to tantalize men to want us. Many of us have been caught up in looking to the media to tell us how to look, how to think, how to be. It strengthens the message that negative
drama in people’s lives is normal, and it’s not. We’re ready for a change. Much of the current material related to dating and finding an ideal mate is based on antiquated models. They instruct
us how to play the game, follow the rules, and manipulate men through snappy repartee, feigned self-control, false self-confidence, and strategies for winning his heart and hooking him into marriage. While many of these resources suggest useful tips and more empowered ways to interact with men, they are still derived from and perpetuate an outdated perspective. Most also
reinforce the artificial notion of scarcity of available men. I’m embarrassed by the archetypal characterizations of women as desperate, irrational, and pining for men who don’t want them.
Too many of the women I’ve interviewed feel they have to be the one to change their life to adapt to a man’s life, which is why they’re often frustrated and many just give up the search for
a mate. Their intuition tells them there is something wrong with this picture, but they don’t
know what to do about it. This process is a way through this frustration.

Old Paradigms to New

Changing paradigms requires a compelling shift in human consciousness. The so-called battle of the
sexes is so last millennium! This outdated gender battle the media likes to hook us into inherently
demands power, force, and control over one another. This wasted energy must end. It traps us in
senseless, unending conflict and drama that inhibits personal evolution. We need to update and
reshape our paradigms to balance masculine and feminine energies.
We need to advocate for roles
in which men and women live harmoniously in pursuit of higher human ideals.
Our current dysfunctional relationship models and mating patterns do not match our social evolution, but that’s for a future
book. However, take a look at the following example of our current outdated mating paradigms as opposed to where we ought
to be headed in order to be living from an evolved model. The full comparison is in the Appendix.


• Mate selection is based on temporary,
hormonally-induced and lust-driven
• Stereotypical attraction factors based on
image, surface attributes and perceptions
• Cultural and media-driven stereotypes of
beauty and desirability
• Initial passion and lust fuel unsustainable
fantasy roles (i.e. knight in shining armor
rescues princess and they live happily
“ever after”)
• Physical appearance (image) and external/
surface qualities take precedence over
long-term compatibility
• False assumption that long-term
compatibility will automatically follow
chemical compatibility (Divorce statistics
prove otherwise)
• Female is chosen by male
• Male decides and “surprises” female with
proposal (often under pressure from her)
Results in:
Limited available partner choices through hasty
judgmental exclusion of candidates; dominant /
submissive pattern.
• Mate selection is primarily based on
harmonious feelings and essence
compatibility between partners
• Lust and chemistry attraction is
secondary to long-term compatibility
• Beauty & desirability defined
individually & stereotypes are viewed
as caricatures
• Reality-based roles and long-term
compatibility considerations take
• Long-term compatibility & energetic
resonance takes precedence over
external/surface qualities
• Energetic compatibility ( includes
essence, core desires, shared values,
lifestyles, and ways of handling conflict,
intimacy, and communication)
• Coupling / marriage is a mutual
• Proposal ritual is a formality and

Results in:
Expanded available partner choices through
broader selection criteria based on energetic
compatibility; partnership pattern.

This is the age of personal potential for both women and men who desire more harmony,
joy, meaning and purpose in their lives. Women can lead the way by shedding old beliefs and
patterns in ourselves and our relationships and realizing that we have options for intentional
partnering. Are you ready to choose the shift?

The Man Trap Game

A woman’s pursuit of romantic partnering should never be a contest to win a man. We are not hunters lying in wait to trap, or fisher(wo)men trying to hook men. After we catch him,
what then? We begin commiserating with our girlfriends and buying books on how to deal with troubled relationships. At the root of this dilemma is our buying into outdated and false
perceptions of ourselves and expectations in romantic partnering—the so-called battle of the sexes. Why does it have to be a fight? Why aren’t harmonious relationships the norm? Let’s
begin by shifting our collective consciousness—our group mentality—to transform the foundation of the problem instead of continuing to accept and function under this old paradigm.
Since women no longer have to partner for survival, we no longer need to employ antiquated strategies and feminine wiles to capture or hold onto a man. Let’s wake up, get real, self-loving,
and true to our natural inner wisdom. That’s the way to find true love.

To learn more about how many women believe that relationships are built on fate and happenstance, see Selena’s Story of how not to get a man next.