Love Lessons"Before doing my story, I had
never even thought about many
of the things in the story
template, and they’re important."
V.B.
It always gives the impression that women have to work at attracting men by making themselves more beautiful, alluring, or challenging with snappy repartee, false self-confidence, and ways of behaving that are not authentic. I’m one who continually works on self-improvement, but it has to be natural and true to me.
I’m suggesting that we get in touch with our feminine intuition, feelings, values, and things that matter to us individually and as a collective group. Especially for many Baby Boomer professional women like me, we’ve put aside some of our natural instincts in exchange for masculine values which are deemed more powerful.
In the next generation, many of our daughters have grown up taking on values that are considered more traditionally masculine, such as logic, factual knowledge, competition, and aggression, in order to achieve success in a man’s world. Natural feminine qualities and values, such as compassion, collaboration, intuition, beauty, and joy, are often demoted in today’s world. As a result, we’re out of balance. Personally, I can see how I’ve been out of balance most of my life, and I’m excited about the shift I’m making to connect more with my feminine energy. I believe it’s time that we bring more of who we are as women to the world.
Men are hunters and seekers by nature. He is looking for you as much as you want to find him. But the emotionally healthy ones are not looking for the “you” who transforms into everything he allegedly desires. He’s looking for the “you” who already knows who she is and what she wants – someone who instinctively makes him want to be (I hate to say it) a better man.
Men are looking for balance, too, wanting to get in touch with all of who they are and can become, and applying both their masculine and feminine values. Partnering is a way for each of us to gain a sense of wholeness in ourselves, not to “complete” us, but to experience all aspects of ourselves.
In ideal partnering, we each bring aspects to the relationship that allow each other to become more of who we are meant to be. When you become more honest and true to who you are, what you stand for, what you want and deserve to have, your dream man will be drawn to you. It doesn’t matter how pretty, alluring, or charming you are by false media standards.
In our culture, we’ve become largely disconnected from our feelings and more focused on the unending chatter in our minds. We assume our minds will guide us to clarity with logic (a masculine value). But we have it reversed. Our feelings are our internal guidance system – they tell us whether something is in sync or out of whack. I think of our minds as a data processing tool and that our feelings should be guiding our minds in our decision-making. Our feelings connect us to our hearts and affect our experience of life. They’re the key to unlocking our authenticity and bringing us what we desire.
So, the next time you read or hear something about how to attract men, consider it in a new way. Remember that your attraction factor is your heart and the feelings you want to experience with the man of your dreams. There is nothing more powerful.
What about you? I’d love to her your comments about being authentic in relationships.
