Love Lessons"Before doing my story, I had
never even thought about many
of the things in the story
template, and they’re important."
V.B.
She knows how to get a man AND a career
Women are more aware how and why we create our experiences, and we’ve left behind the old victim mentality, including our approach to how to get a man. I believe women power themselves best by being authentic in relationships–
Women also claim self-power by setting standards for themselves and the men in their lives and maintaining them—no one needs to settle for a less-than-fulfilling relationship. In my research and coaching practice, I’ve also observed that women have greater success in love when they turn within to find motivation and make decisions; internal validation is what helps find and attract the right man.
In recent decades, as women have moved up corporate, political and societal ladders to places of power, another unintended transformation occurred. In order to make headway, women often adopted male versions of what it means to be powerful, since men were the ones who had already established the power structures. In order to succeed, women felt they needed to behave like their male counterparts, and in the process, often repressed and dismissed their own feminine forms of intelligence and innate skills.
Many women have become disconnected from their natural abilities to be intuitive and in touch with their emotions. Compassion, joy and pleasure often get set aside in order to compete with men on their terms. Things that men often find so key—money, image and winning at all costs—don’t reflect values that women have traditionally held dear. Women have lost sight of themselves as nurturers—of themselves, their families and of the planet itself; in other words, their authentic self-power.
Hmmm...I can be feminine AND powerful
Now more than ever, women are searching for deeper meaning in their lives and wanting to tap into their own highest personal potential. They’re ready to claim self-power in order to build a life that is truly fulfilling on the deepest soul level. Women are in a position today to make choices and create the life of their dreams versus waiting for it to be chosen for them. For single women, that often translates into figuring out a whole new way to think about how to get a man in the complex world of dating and relationships.
Both women and men are still trying to figure out how to relate in ways that make sense in our changing society in which traditional coupling roles are shrinking towards the minority. In my book Choose Him: How to Get Clear, Define What You Want, and Attract the Man of Your Dreams, I address some of our outdated social paradigms, fantasy versus reality-based relationships, and new partnering perspectives to match our evolving culture.
