Love Lessons"Before doing my story, I had
never even thought about many
of the things in the story
template, and they’re important."
V.B.
How do I need to look to get a man?
They often feel that the key to finding Mr. Right is always looking as perfect as they can—just in case he happens into their world. Some of them spent so much time and money on clothes, cosmetics and maintenance that you’d have thought they were actresses or fashion models. (I know, since I’ve been there myself at one time). Ironically, all their perfect facades did was put off the kind of men they claimed they were looking for.
No man is perfect, and few men kid themselves in that way. They don’t expect you to be perfect either. If you’re presenting an illusion to the men you meet of someone you really aren’t, how long do you think it will take for them to figure that out? (Or for you to burn out on sustaining the false image?) Many women tell me they met their partners when they thought they looked their worst. My husband tells me that he was attracted to me the first time he saw me in the gym at 6:00 a.m. with no makeup and my hair tied back. Go figure.
The true secret to get a man you really want to be with is authenticity. If you simply go about your life, doing the things you love to do, looking natural, relaxed and confident, you’ll be amazed at how approachable you’ll become. Men aren’t impressed by shoes. They don’t care what color your lipstick is or where you bought your dress. They care about how you treat people—especially them. They care about how comfortable you are in your own skin—can you be spontaneous, do you exude a joy for life, are you willing to get your hair mussed in a convertible? In short, how do you rate on the self-obsessed meter?
To get a man you want to spend the rest of your life with, look in your mirror and see what he will see—is it the real you or a packaged version that needs rebranding to be more true to you?
