Do You Find True Love or Let It Find You?

When I hear a girlfriend or client say she wants to find true love, I dig deeper into what she means by true love.

The phrase means many things to each woman, but what comes up most often is that she wants to be loved unconditionally and accepted for who she is. And she wants it to be lasting. Sometimes she’ll ask whether she should be out looking to find true love or should she be waiting for it to find her. My answer is that it’s both.

I found love on a two-way street, as the old song goes.

I believe two people find each other through the Law of Attraction, which basically says that if you really want something and focus your attention on it, and feel as if you already have it, you’ll get it. Most often when we think about this law, we relate it to tangible things such as a car, house, or a job.

When you think about any one of these examples, such as a car, you probably have an image in your mind of it, and you may have a glossy brochure with photos that outline all the wonderful features of the car. You know the color you want, the type of seats, and whether it’s a stick shift or automatic. You’ll consider the gas mileage, maintenance, and insurance costs. You may even imagine what the car looks like parked in front of your house or what you’ll look and feel like sitting in it or driving on the highway. You might think about your friends or co-workers’ reaction to the car. You’ll have a similar kind of thought process about the many details involved in finding the perfect house or job. And you’ll also likely get emotionally involved with that vision as you imagine what your heart desires. After reviewing this vision over and over each day, suddenly, voila! You manifest what you want.

It always amazes me that we’ll put more detailed, analytical thought and emotion into attracting a tangible thing we want than we do for something as important as finding true love. Maybe it’s because tangible things are conspicuous and seem more available and attainable than intangibles. If we believe we can get something because it’s relatively available, then we get very intentional about it. If we believe there’s a limitation to getting what we want, we doubt our ability to get it. That’s where the problem begins.

My experience has been that to find true love you have to have as clear a vision of the man as you would for the car. You must think about what you want in vivid detail and feel what it would be like to look at him, touch him, talk and listen to him, watch him with others. Imagine how he treats you in private and in public, what you enjoy doing together on vacation, and especially in your-day-to-day life. And you must believe you can have him.

In my own past, I remember thinking that love was somewhat happenstance, a chance, or even a magical and serendipitous event.

I thought I’d be introduced to him by a friend, meet him at work, or even more romantic – see him across a crowded room. Our eyes would meet and he’d smile and light up and immediately know that I was the One. He would pursue me and make me his, put me on a pedestal, and cherish me forever.

Well, that vision didn’t work out! I have the divorces and broken relationships to prove it. All that time I didn’t realize there were a lot more details to think about, including how I wanted to feel with this man and in our life together. I thought that love would conquer all and everything would work out somehow if we were passionately in love.

No one had ever told me that I had choices, and that I could attract true love if I was really clear about who I am, what I wanted, and became intentional about attracting him into my life. After wasting most of my life in a Cinderella fantasy, waiting for true love to magically appear and choose me, I learned that I could intentionally create my own magic to attract the man of my dreams. Yes, you can find true love, but you need to help him find you by sending out clear signals about who you are and what you really want!

Do Love and Life Differently: There are no limitations if you get clear and intentional and most of all, believe that finding your true love is possible.

What are your thoughts on finding true love? We’d all love to hear them.

Leave a Reply


email* (will not be published)