How to Get a Guy From Bad Breakups

Often you've got to kiss a lot of candidates to get a guy who's right for you

It’s true. We usually do get better from the lessons we learn in how to get a guy who’s right for us long term.

I prefer not to think of my past numerous relationships as mistakes. As this article from “Love Lessons from Bad Breakups” points out, not only does our judgment improve in men, but we learn more about what we want and have to offer to a relationship. Prior to making the commitment to get married, the 34-year old author of this article decided to schedule dates with four of her previous boyfriends starting from her teens. Read

During the relationship with each of these guys, she felt their relationship would last forever and couldn’t imagine living without them. Then as circumstances happen, the relationship ended with either her as the dumper or the dumpee. Some of her lessons included:

• Recognizing how little she knew herself and needed to like herself in order to let another person love her
• Getting to know how deeply she was capable of feeling, regardless of whether or not her love was reciprocated
• Learning to feel entitled to “a fully renovated mate” whom she wouldn’t have to work on improving
• Learning she had been choosing inappropriate guys due to her fear of commitment

Through revisiting her past loves, she discovered that although none of these guys turned out to be the love of her life, they each had a part in teaching her what she needed to learn about being a good partner for a lifetime.

Do Love and Life Differently: Try changing your mind about past bad breakups and focus on the positive things you learned about yourself and what you want. This is the secret to how to get a guy for the long haul.

What have your biggest lessons from past loves been? I’d like to hear below.

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