Love Lessons"Before doing my story, I had
never even thought about many
of the things in the story
template, and they’re important."
V.B.
Do you have the confidence factor for how to attract men?
how to attract men who have confidence, OR how to attract men with your confidence, I’m talking about the latter—your confidence. It’s really hard to fake confidence, so how does one go about having confidence if you really don’t?
I remember one time I met this absolutely gorgeous guy at a party; then he called me for a date. He was so incredibly, strikingly handsome and sexy that I literally went mute when he picked me up. I mean I couldn’t get words out of my mouth—I just stared at him and thought you’re such a hunk of deliciousness that I just want to take a bite out of you! Of course that made me think that I must look like chopped liver compared to him. My confidence suddenly took a dive into never-never land, meaning I thought he’d never, never want to ask me out again.
Hahaha…but I kind of meant it. Actually, I made a commitment to myself that I was going to learn how to attract men who are babe-licious and still be confident myself. I started to visualize myself with that hunky guy and imagined what it would feel like to be confident with him, and what my behavior might be like to impress him. Would I be saucy and seductive? Restrained and intellectual? Powerful and picky? Wild and adventurous? Sweet and innocent? Condescending and demanding? Oh, so many choices, so many personalities and roles I could play! Which one would intrigue and tantalize him most?
None of those personalities appealed to me, because they felt so contrived and fake. Why did I need to play a role with him? It felt like such a game and besides, what was the benefit to me or to him? Then it occurred to me that I could just be relaxed, curious about him, ask questions, try to get to know about his interests and work, make eye contact with him without seductive looks, and observe how he was treating me. What kind of manners did he have, and was he interested in anything about me? Would he make a good friend, business connection, or was he a good candidate for me for the long term? When I started to go on dates with that perspective, I felt very confident. I felt that I was deciding what works for me and whether a guy was a one-night stand or a keeper.
PS:he did ask me out again, but he turned out to be really dumb and we had nothing to talk about. Dang! he was cute though.
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I’d like to know your thoughts on confidence in dating.
