Self Power Tools for Talking With Mr. Right

by Deb Garraway  |  Category: Self-Powered Woman

Interesting....could you be Mr. Right?

When you first meet a man who’s attractive and appears to be a good candidate for your Mr. Right,it can be a bit

nerve-wracking to be a good conversationalist, show him who you are, and at the same time get to know him. It’s a very interesting dance you do and is somewhat like figuring out what song you want to dance to. This might be a stretch for comparison, but have you ever met a man at a nightclub where there’s music, and he comes up to you and asks you to dance? Then you tell him that you want to wait until there’s a good song? Maybe not, but I have; if I’m not feeling a song, it’s very hard for me to have fun dancing. However, if he was a gorgeous hunk, suddenly the song didn’t matter. Ha-ha!

Like dancing, sometimes when meeting a new man the conversation feels awkward, and you’re just not making a good connection. You’re sort of off the beat, uncoordinated and stepping on each other’s toes. Sometimes a connection never happens and you beat yourself up for feeling so uncomfortable and not being able to change the mood and flow of the conversation. So long, ‘almost’ Mr. Right.

One of the things I would do when I felt off balance in a conversation is to go to curiosity. Just about everyone likes to have someone interested in them, wanting to know more about them, even if they’re not romantically interested. The key is, however, that you really have to be curious and can’t fake it with superficial questions. You really need to want to know more about this person’s world. Besides the usual mundane questions about the kind of work he does, where he hangs out, and what sort of things he likes to do, here are some questions to get the conversation juices flowing:

• Do you think you’ll continue your current line of work long term?
• What are your dreams or passions? Is there something you see yourself doing differently in your future than what you’re doing right now?
• If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life right now?
• Have you ever thought of doing something adventurous like climbing Mr. Kilimanjaro, jumping from an airplane, or river rafting in Costa Rica?
• What’s the thing that irritates you most about people? What do you like most about people?
• If you could change one thing in the world, what would that be–just the first thing that comes to your mind?

Obviously, this guy is going to be wondering if you’re writing a book or just plain nosy. Don’t let that bother you. Tell him you’re very curious about other people and their interests and goals in life, what excites them, and how they feel about people and the world. If he turns out to be a curious man, be ready to answer these questions yourself. Share your own thoughts, but be careful not to dominate the conversation. If he’s not curious about you, that gives you a big clue how he’d likely be long term.

Do Love and Life Differently: You’ll be amazed how appealing you’ll become to a man when you’re genuinely curious about him. Besides, when you’re curious, you actually do learn a lot about others and become a more interesting woman.

Have you experienced awkwardness or trying too hard in conversation with a new man?

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