Could the Love of My Life Be Different Than I Expect?

Yes, really, you're the love of my life.

Absolutely! In fact, most of the women I’ve known who’ve found their “love of my life” have said he was nothing like they had imagined, including my own.

The difference was either his appearance, his type of work, his lifestyle, socio-economic level, his personality, or even his values. The most interesting difference I’ve heard about is in a recent article in Oprah Magazine called “The One”. The author, Allison Cooper, shares her poignant story of finding the man of her dreams who, as it turns out, used to be a woman. While Cooper and her man don’t consider themselves gay, she reveals the difficulty in explaining to family and friends how she could fall in love with a former woman who transformed herself into a man. No one was more surprised than Cooper herself. Read more

I found this an interesting story because it demonstrates an extreme example of how our perceptions of our self-described “love of my life” can often be someone very different than we expected. This story reflects how one’s emotional needs and heart’s desires are the ultimate attraction factor for love, and he may not be what you imagined. You never know how the man of your dreams will come packaged, so keep an open mind.

It makes sense why we often repetitively attract the same type of man into our life due to some unresolved emotional issues. Until we’ve healed those issues, or at least become aware of them so we can make different choices, our magnetic energy attracts the same experience. We can look at these recurrences as barriers to what our heart really wants. However, once we’ve healed, our energy shifts to attract our true needs and desires, based on the law of attraction. While Cooper’s experience is quite unique, many of us have been surprised by who shows up as the man of our dreams. I know I was in my own life.

The kind of man your heart wants as a partner can’t find you until you break down the barriers by making different choices. In other words, it’s about choosing the kind of relationship that will feel good to you long term instead of accepting what shows up and trying to make it work out. Relationships are not supposed to be as hard as most people make them. Learn more about how your energy helps you to attract the right partner in my book Choose Him: How to Get Clear, Define What You Want, and Attract the Man of Your dreams.

Do Love and Life Differently: Let your heart do the choosing of the love of your life. You’ll know when it’s right because it feels really comfortable and really good.

Have you ever met someone who was “out of your league” or just so different from what you think you want, but you were drawn to him? I’d like to hear about it.

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