by Deb Garraway
March 8, 2011

To Attract Men Your Energy Speaks Louder Than Words

Looks like she knows how to attract men

This morning I was talking with my good friend, Tamra, about how we manage our personal energy. We’ve all met people who immediately cause us to react a certain way because of their energy. It can be either repelling and we can’t wait to get away from them, or it can be attractive and we find them likable and pleasant to be around. Most people aren’t aware of their own energy as far as how they affect others, and it’s always interesting to observe others, and of course try to be aware of my own. My other coaching friends can always read my energy, even though we’re on the phone and I’m intentionally trying not to sound like something is bothering me. They bust me every time! (more…)

by Deb Garraway
November 17, 2010

Could the Love of My Life Be Different Than I Expect?

Yes, really, you're the love of my life.

Absolutely! In fact, most of the women I’ve known who’ve found their “love of my life” have said he was nothing like they had imagined, including my own.

The difference was either his appearance, his type of work, his lifestyle, socio-economic level, his personality, or even his values. The most interesting difference I’ve heard about is in a recent article in Oprah Magazine called “The One”. The author, Allison Cooper, shares her poignant story of finding the man of her dreams who, as it turns out, used to be a woman. While Cooper and her man don’t consider themselves gay, she reveals the difficulty in explaining to family and friends how she could fall in love with a former woman who transformed herself into a man. No one was more surprised than Cooper herself. Read more (more…)

by Deb Garraway
August 23, 2010

Not How to Attract Men for the Long Term

They know how to attract men but does romance last?

Okay, I admit it. I watch some reality TV shows–especially the ones related to dating and matchmaking since I’m doing research for my work. LOL! That’s a great excuse.

The newest show is a Bachelor-Bachelorette spin-off called The Bachelor Pad. This is a great show to teach women what not to do if they want to know how to attract men –unless they’re looking for a short-term fling. The premise of the show is that each week the men get to vote off a woman and the women vote off a man. Game contests are held for men and women to compete against one another, and the last one standing at the end of the season wins $250,000. Obviously, there’s a lot of drama and strategy involved to ensure you don’t get booted off the show.

But the other added component is romance, some serious and some for manipulative reasons. I was stunned when I saw Elizabeth crying her eyes out last week over Jesse who (more…)

by Deb Garraway
August 18, 2010

To Find True Love Choose to Love

“I believe love is primarily a choice and only sometimes a feeling. If you want to feel love, choose to love and be patient.”~Real Live Preacher

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get out

The quote above speaks to me about our ability to make choices both in our lives and in love. But unlike choosing what you’re going to wear today or what kind of car you’re going to buy, to find true love takes patience.Like this Real Live Preacher, I also believe that love is a choice. I know that for some of you who take the phrase literally that you actually “fall in love”, you might recoil at the comment that you actually “choose to love”. Maybe “falling in love” comes from the experience of being deeply in love and then losing that love.

It does sort of feel as if you fell into a dark manhole without a ladder to get out.

But the phrase also implies that love is an accident or an uncontrollable fate. (more…)

by Deb Garraway
August 6, 2010

Prune the Past to Find True Love

Pinch back to find true love

This morning my husband and I were working in the garden, and he asked me why my potted petunias were especially beautiful this year.

They’re fuller, more vibrant and healthier than we’ve ever seen them. I told him I finally realized I was supposed to pinch back the dried out and dead blossoms to allow the new ones to grow and flourish. We talked about our many rose bushes that are regularly pruned by the gardener, and occasionally my husband gets pleasure from pruning and later seeing more luscious roses appear. He then mentioned he’s curious if I believe there’s a metaphorical meaning about pruning related to people and to life.

As I thought about it, I told him I believe pruning is symbolic of the cycle of life, where the old die and babies are born to grow and age to carry on life. Everything living eventually dies to prepare for the new to arrive, hopefully advancing our personal lives and our culture. Then it occurred to me that the same applies to letting go of old romantic relationships to make room to find true love. (more…)

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