Love Lessons"Before doing my story, I had
never even thought about many
of the things in the story
template, and they’re important."
V.B.
He sure feels like my soulmate
Many of us have at one time or another been so sure he’s the one, only to be disappointed and hurt that he’s not? Physical attraction can be alluring and a powerful force that makes it difficult to manage your emotions. So how do you keep yourself from falling hard for a man until you’re certain (and he’s certain) you’re the one.
At long last, when I was able to find my soulmate (I call him my dream man)–Wowee zowee!
When passionate sparks flew and everything felt so exquisitely good and right between us, it was a challenge to hold back part of myself and my energy from going into fantasy mode of: “this must be him”. Every time I found myself getting close to head-over-heels mode, I would think about the fact that I really didn’t know him well enough, nor had I seen him in enough situations, to know for sure he was right for me. I would refer back to my detailed “love map” I’d written about the kind of man I wanted and our life together (before meeting him) to see if he was a good match. That doesn’t mean you can’t be intimate or play in the magic of romance with him. Just don’t let your emotional energy or lust take you out of reality and into fantasy-dream-come-true behavior.
It would have been much more romantic for me to have assumed everything was going so well that I should just go with the flow and risk all my love on this man. However, after a couple of marriages and several disappointing relationships, I’d learned that to find my soulmate I needed to take my time and observe him in a lot of situations, watching for red flags, noticing how I felt with him, how he treated others, his values and integrity, and all of the things I knew I wanted. In the past I would have noticed all these things but would have focused on how I could fit into his world and his values; that’s what I call coming from a place of desperation. This time I kept observing carefully–not from paranoia– but evaluating what works for me. As it turned out, he did match my needs perfectly, and he’s still my dream man and life partner today.
Have you ever found yourself in a fantasy-come-true experience with a man who didn’t work out? Please share your comments.
