Love Lessons"Before doing my story, I had
never even thought about many
of the things in the story
template, and they’re important."
V.B.
Is this why it's said true love is blind?
I’m back on the “Bachelor Pad” TV show again because its contestants show us the most unattractive stereotypes of self-degrading, delusional qualities– especially the ladies (I use the term loosely). They’re operating from outdated perceptions of what it takes to get a man to want them; and therefore want a relationship with them; and therefore love them; and therefore commit to them (or marry) for the happily ever-after fantasy. These women not only set a bad example for young girls, but they throw women’s evolution back one hundred years!
The other night there was a kissing contest in which the men were blindfolded and kissed by each woman and vice versa, the women blindfolded and kissed by each man. It was pretty disgusting watching the women in particular tickling tonsils with wet, faux passionate, often slobbery kisses, because they openly confessed wanting the guys to think they’re hot. Even the show’s host, Chris Harrison, remarked that, “I wanted to hose them down.” The rationale is that if you’re hot, you might get the rose and be safe from elimination that night; and better yet, this might be how to get a hot guy to want a relationship with you.
How to get a guy.....for the moment.
Well, I really do watch for the sheer fascination of observing how today’s dating and mating game expresses itself at its most base level. While somewhat exhibitionists who love the limelight, most (not all) of the men and women appear to be “normal”, and many are educated and have responsible jobs. But they still are operating from antiquated mating behaviors, such as the assumption that sex is a permanent glue to get a man to love you and stay with you forever.
Similarly, I’ve coached and studied the behavior of women who’ve actually believed that being hot and sexually aggressive is what men want and how to get a guy to love her. Or at the least, to get his attention through this type of behavior, with the hope that she can manipulate him into loving her. Women perhaps had to use cunning tactics a hundred years ago to get a man for survival, but ladies–not today. That behavior is so outdated!
As proof of the futility of this type of behavior, the woman who won the kissing contest was the one whose kiss was soft, gentle and sans tongue, according to the men who voted her number one. Many guys (especially the hot guys) commented that the tongue diving was definitely not a turn-on and in fact, a turn-off.
I’d like to hear any comments you have below about how to get a guy with or without sexual aggression.
