Not How to Attract Men for the Long Term

They know how to attract men but does romance last?

Okay, I admit it. I watch some reality TV shows–especially the ones related to dating and matchmaking since I’m doing research for my work. LOL! That’s a great excuse.

The newest show is a Bachelor-Bachelorette spin-off called The Bachelor Pad. This is a great show to teach women what not to do if they want to know how to attract men –unless they’re looking for a short-term fling. The premise of the show is that each week the men get to vote off a woman and the women vote off a man. Game contests are held for men and women to compete against one another, and the last one standing at the end of the season wins $250,000. Obviously, there’s a lot of drama and strategy involved to ensure you don’t get booted off the show.

But the other added component is romance, some serious and some for manipulative reasons. I was stunned when I saw Elizabeth crying her eyes out last week over Jesse who had apparently made it clear to the show’s host that he’s single and available. However, for some reason Elizabeth believed they had a “thing” that was more serious than Jesse thought. Uh oh…problemo.

Not only did Elizabeth make a fool of herself with the dramatic pleading and tears, but she also had the nerve to threaten Jessie to stay committed and “be nice to her”, or she would turn the other women against him and get him voted off.

I could not believe she literally was trying to blackmail him into staying in a relationship with her. It was pretty disgusting–but does makes for good TV (smile).

Please tell me that women don’t actually behave like this in real life. Maybe some women fall into illusion that their beauty and sex appeal is all it takes to attract men and, worse, to hold onto a man long term. You can’t threaten, convince, or guilt a man into loving you or wanting to be with you. Why would any woman want to attract a man she has to lasso, handcuff, or incarcerate to keep his attention long term? I don’t get that at all. What is going on in her mind? Is it the challenge of winning his love? Is it the ultimate validation of her seductive power and magnetism? Does she really believe he’ll want to be with her forever? You’d have to be living in fantasy if you think that a long-term kind of guy will be fascinated by obsessive, neurotic behavior. This may be how to attract men looking for a fling, but certainly not how to get a man for the long haul.

Do Love and Life Differently: Once you’ve shown a man you’re emotionally unstable it’s a bit hard to salvage your reputation and count on long-term love.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on why we’re so fascinated by these reality relationship shows.

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