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Rules for the Man of My Dreams

This post is actually a continuation of my previous one on “The Rules of Love Poetry”

in which I question some of the rules, standards, and expectations women may link to the idealized “man of my dreams”.

Before I met him, when I thought of the man of my dreams (who’s actually my current husband), I knew I needed much more than a list of qualities. I recognized that something had to change in either the way I was pursuing the man of my dreams or in my expectations for him and our relationship together. It turned out to be both.

I needed to get clear about what I wanted, which may sound simple to some of you, but I assure you it wasn’t easy. After two previous marriages and a couple of long-term relationships, a light bulb finally snapped on making me aware of the perspective from which I’d been pursuing a partnership. I wanted a romantic partnership, not the traditional concept of a relationship or marriage from my mother’s era. (more…)

Is This How to Get A Man Who Doesn’t Cheat?

YIKES! I just read an article in the HealthDay News that says a man is more likely to cheat if he makes much less money than his wife or female partner does.

It also reports that a woman is more likely to cheat if she makes more than her husband or male partner. The study, which surveyed 9000 people under the age of 27, found that more than twice as many men cheated on their partners. The study author revealed that her impetus for the study was a male friend’s confession that he cheated on his partner because she made all the money, and he felt completely powerless. While the overall percentage of cheaters was small in her study (7% of men and 3% of women), infidelity seemed to rise when one partner made a lot more money than the other. My research indicates that about 50% of women and 60% of men cheat at some time during their relationship;and infidelity has more than doubled in the past decade. (more…)

How to Get a Man With Your Self-Power

We’re in an age overflowing with self-help resources, and as a result, most women are more self-responsible than ever before.

Women are more aware how and why we create our experiences, and we’ve left behind the old victim mentality, including our approach to how to get a man. I believe women power themselves best by being authentic in relationships–

Modern women have no need for manipulation and game playing.

Women also claim self-power by setting standards for themselves and the men in their lives and maintaining them—no one needs to settle for a less-than-fulfilling relationship. In my research and coaching practice, I’ve also observed that women have greater success in love when they turn within to find motivation and make decisions; internal validation is what helps find and attract the right man. (more…)

Could the Man of My Dreams Be a Wife?

Well, I just finished reading a fascinating article in The Atlantic magazine called “The End of Men” by Hanna Rosin. This is a very long article and parts of it may not interest some readers, but I found the statistics and projections for women’s roles in our culture fascinating.

I believe the new place of women in society is having a profound impact on today’s partnering roles and relationship issues.

According to Rosin, “For years, women’s progress has been cast as a struggle for equality. But what if equality isn’t the end point? What if modern, postindustrial society is simply better suited to women?” The article reports on the unprecedented role reversal now under way—and its vast cultural consequences. See the full article here: The End of Men
It’s tough to do justice to this article with these brief highlights that are relevant to my topic, but I’ll do my best. The most stunning assertion is that for the first time in human history, man’s dominant role in our culture is changing “with shocking speed.” (more…)

Hard To Find True Love With Expired Software

Some people may think I’m a little bit out there on this topic, but I think in many ways,we’re behaving as if we’re in the dark ages.

We haven’t evolved our romantic relationship roles, behavior, and attitudes to match our social evolution. I’d really like to hear what you think.

Trapped in the past

As with any goal we pursue, there’s tremendous power in knowing what you want and expecting to have it, but many women don’t seem to apply the same philosophy when it comes to romance. (more…)