21st Century Relationships

by Deb Garraway
February 3, 2011

Dating In The Age of Text Messages


If you’re not already a veteran texter, you’ll probably succumb to the trend eventually—it’s just so convenient.

And if you have kids still at home, then you know how texting makes it easier to keep track of them and remind them of what you think should be important. But what about dating and texting? A new study reveals that a woman who’s been texting with a guy before meeting him is apt to find him more appealing. That makes some sense to me—if the guy is articulate and comfortable being charming electronically. But it also concerns me that some of us are starting to rely on text messages more than actual conversations. When the whole goal is to say what you want to say in as few words or characters as possible, how can you really expect to communicate the emotional subtleties of dating? An emoticon will never be a substitute for an actual smile shared across a table while his hand lingers on yours. (more…)

by Deb Garraway
January 5, 2011

Self Power Tools for Negotiating with the Love of My Life

Then there's the crib, clothes, babysitters....


This post is a continuation of my last post related to John,

who he gets home most weeknights at 9:00 p.m. instead of 6:00 p.m., which upsets Mary since he misses 3 hours of evening time that could be shared with her. Thus, arguments ensue. Below are the next steps (#3 and #4) based on the “method” described in my previous post, along with my comments:

3. Invent Options for Mutual Gain

Sometimes situations seem impossible to resolve and your options appear limited; it seems like an either/or situation. Or it appears that it’s the other person’s problem to figure out for themselves. Most people see negotiating a problem as trying to narrow the gap between positions instead of expanding the potential alternatives. The method does not suggest approaching negotiation from those perspectives. It suggests the following process to come up with creative options: (more…)

by Deb Garraway
December 29, 2010

Self-Power Tools for Negotiating with the Man of My Dreams

The love of my life is really annoying me


This post is dedicated to women who are in new romances with their potential “man of my dreams”

and also those in committed relationships or even married. Having an M.B.A. background, I’m always interested in relating what I learned in business school to romantic partnerships. I’ve just finished reading an outstanding book about how to negotiate agreement without giving in called Getting to Yes by Fisher, Ury and Patton. Based on a Harvard study and written in 1981, the method, described as “principled negotiation”, is still very applicable today.

I believe this method would be very useful if applied to our personal and romantic relationships. The premise is that mutual agreements in any conflict can be achieved without getting angry or ending in a win-lose proposition, in which one party feels they were taken advantage of or perhaps compromised too much. (more…)

by Deb Garraway
October 26, 2010

Will the Love of My Life Please Sign Here

He's the love of my life...but marriage is a contract.


Some of you may be asking why should I be thinking about prenuptial agreements when I still need to find the love of my life.

This recent article titled “Prenups 101: More Couples Sign Agreements Before They Say I Do,” appearing on ABC News website, is good information for planning ahead. Read more www.budurl.com/Prenups101
You’d be surprised how your feelings and expectations around this topic can affect your attitude while dating. It’s one of those topics that’s often suppressed as a low priority until you actually meet someone and plan to tie the knot.

However, your attitude about what’s yours is yours and his is his –or not—plays a key part in how you think and behave while dating or in a relationship. Here are a few examples: (more…)

by Deb Garraway
October 23, 2010

How to Attract Men by Stripping in the Street


I've got dibbs on him!

You bet it's how to attract men!

And women think they have a hard time finding a man in this country!

Can you imagine women stripping in the streets to attract a husband? Well, it’s true based on this article recently published in the online magazineBeyond Jane, titled “Unmarried Chinese Women Storm The Streets Nude to Attract Potential Suitors”. Read more http://budurl.com/getmyman.

Apparently due to the extreme shortage of marriageable men and the pressure placed on women by their parents to marry, about 80 women stripped to their panties and bras in a procession on the streets. Many carried signs reading that they were looking for men to marry. Did I miss a new trend in how to attract men? (more…)

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