Choose Your Own Soulmate

by Deb Garraway
December 22, 2010

Will I Find My Soulmate to Be Mr. Perfect?

Your perfectly imperfect soulmate

Whenever I hear anyone say, “no one is perfect” or “no relationship is perfect”, I get a little annoyed.

It’s not that I disagree with the literal meaning of either statement, but I wonder why anyone would even want to be with Mr. Perfect. I’ve been in relationships in which I thought I did find my soulmate and wanted to believe he was perfect in every way. Well, I got over that fantasy eventually.

Perfectionism—in this case meaning extremely high expectations in someone or for everything to be smooth-going with no rough spots–is an unrealistic illusion.

Perfection in My Soulmate

Perfection has many different standards to everyone, including some of the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves for what we think we should be or become for a man. (more…)
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by Deb Garraway
September 4, 2010

How to Enjoy Romance and Find My Soulmate

He sure feels like my soulmate


Whenever I’m asked about the best way to find my soulmate, questions often surface about distinguishing between hot and heavy romance with a sizzling guy and certainty that he’s your soulmate.

Many of us have at one time or another been so sure he’s the one, only to be disappointed and hurt that he’s not? Physical attraction can be alluring and a powerful force that makes it difficult to manage your emotions. So how do you keep yourself from falling hard for a man until you’re certain (and he’s certain) you’re the one.

At long last, when I was able to find my soulmate (I call him my dream man)–Wowee zowee!

It sure was a physical and chemical dilemma to put it mildly!

When passionate sparks flew and everything felt so exquisitely good and right between us, it was a challenge to hold back part of myself and my energy from going into fantasy mode of: “this must be him”. (more…)

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by Deb Garraway
August 13, 2010

Self-Power Tools for How to Find My Soulmate

Do I find my soulmate by connecting with his soul?


From time to time I’ll be writing about self-power tools and ideas to increase your personal power in dating and partnering.

After lots of dating a variety of men and finally settling down with the love of my life, I’ve learned a great deal about my own personal power. I call it self-power since it draws attention to the fact that we can access our own internal power rather than looking for someone on the outside to empower us, including a man.

My preference is to call him my dream man, but many women want to know the answer to the question: how do I find my soulmate? I recently read that the majority of both single men and women want to find their soulmate. Most of us want that special someone with whom we form a special bond, the closeness, touching, and knowledge that someone is there for us and cares for us through thick and thin forever. (more…)

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by Deb Garraway
June 29, 2010

I Want To Find My Soulmate, Or Is There Such A Thing?

your soulmate is out there somewhere

Romantic fantasy is a topic I’ve talked about before, and it’s worth bringing up again since it relates to our desire to find that one person – the only one – who we’re meant to be with forever. When I coach women, they often say, “I want to find my soulmate.” It’s true that most women (and probably men too) hold onto the belief that there’s a soulmate out there who is meant for them alone, and that there’s a mystical connection that bonds them as life partners.

With each new man we fall in love with, we want to believe that fate brought us together, and the evidence is all our synchronicities and things we have in common. Add physical chemistry to the mix, and you have the makings of: “This must be him – my soulmate.” Often we cling to this idea regardless of his mistreatment of us, his philandering, or emotional problems. (more…)

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by Deb Garraway
May 21, 2010

How To Attract Men In A New Way

There IS a better way to attract him

One thing I’ve noticed in advertising, on billboards, in magazines and other print media,

is that you rarely see an image of a woman choosing a man or deciding if he’s right for her. After viewing literally hundreds of online photos of women interacting with men, I confirmed my opinion. Women are most often depicted as flirtatious, seductive, angry, condescending, stuck up, jealous, or aggressive with men. It seems we’re portrayed in two extremes: either sexy or bitchy. These depictions stir up my thoughts about women’s historically limited perspectives on how to attract men. (more…)

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