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To Find True Love Choose to Love

“I believe love is primarily a choice and only sometimes a feeling. If you want to feel love, choose to love and be patient.”~Real Live Preacher

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get out

The quote above speaks to me about our ability to make choices both in our lives and in love. But unlike choosing what you’re going to wear today or what kind of car you’re going to buy, to find true love takes patience.Like this Real Live Preacher, I also believe that love is a choice. I know that for some of you who take the phrase literally that you actually “fall in love”, you might recoil at the comment that you actually “choose to love”. Maybe “falling in love” comes from the experience of being deeply in love and then losing that love.

It does sort of feel as if you fell into a dark manhole without a ladder to get out.

But the phrase also implies that love is an accident or an uncontrollable fate. (more…)

The Truth in Love Poetry

Romantic fantasy fades into love poetry

What is it about love poetry and quotes that fascinate and deeply impact us?

We’re enticed by love, devastated by love, angered by love, addicted to love, longing for love, bursting with love, blinded and fooled by love. Love profoundly affects our lives like nothing else can. Does love poetry allow us to eavesdrop into someone’s heart and share the camaraderie of our emotions? Is the truth of love poetry the commonality of our shared empathy and intense obsession with love?

The Oscar Wilde quote above says so much in so few words. For me it means there’s a cycle to love that is flawed from the beginning—called romance. (more…)

Love Poetry Can Help You Gain Clarity

What kind of love poems would light my fire?

I realize not everyone enjoys reading poetry, though I find it inspiring and also useful.

Because poetry relies so much on metaphor and other forms of symbolic language, it can have a profound effect on people when they read it. Good poetry can force you to look at the world—and yourself—differently.
How you respond to various kinds of love poetry could tell you something about your deepest emotional needs and desires.

That’s why I recommend reading all sorts of love poetry from many different eras to see what sort of writing moves you. For example, in reading Elizabeth Barrett Browning, an English Victorian poet, you maybe surprised to realize you’re much more of a romantic than you thought. And perhaps you’d like your dream man to be a romantic sort too. (They do exist, trust me!) (more…)

Self-Power Tools for How to Find My Soulmate

Do I find my soulmate by connecting with his soul?

From time to time I’ll be writing about self-power tools and ideas to increase your personal power in dating and partnering.

After lots of dating a variety of men and finally settling down with the love of my life, I’ve learned a great deal about my own personal power. I call it self-power since it draws attention to the fact that we can access our own internal power rather than looking for someone on the outside to empower us, including a man.

My preference is to call him my dream man, but many women want to know the answer to the question: how do I find my soulmate? I recently read that the majority of both single men and women want to find their soulmate. Most of us want that special someone with whom we form a special bond, the closeness, touching, and knowledge that someone is there for us and cares for us through thick and thin forever. (more…)

Self-Power Tools for How to Attract Men With Confidence

Do you have the confidence factor for how to attract men?

While the title of this post could go a couple of ways–

how to attract men who have confidence, OR how to attract men with your confidence, I’m talking about the latter—your confidence. It’s really hard to fake confidence, so how does one go about having confidence if you really don’t?

I remember one time I met this absolutely gorgeous guy at a party; then he called me for a date. He was so incredibly, strikingly handsome and sexy that I literally went mute when he picked me up. I mean I couldn’t get words out of my mouth—I just stared at him and thought you’re such a hunk of deliciousness that I just want to take a bite out of you! Of course that made me think that I must look like chopped liver compared to him. My confidence suddenly took a dive into never-never land, meaning I thought he’d never, never want to ask me out again. (more…)