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How to Get a Man With Your Self-Power

She knows how to get a man AND a career

We’re in an age overflowing with self-help resources, and as a result, most women are more self-responsible than ever before.

Women are more aware how and why we create our experiences, and we’ve left behind the old victim mentality, including our approach to how to get a man. I believe women power themselves best by being authentic in relationships–

Modern women have no need for manipulation and game playing.

Women also claim self-power by setting standards for themselves and the men in their lives and maintaining them—no one needs to settle for a less-than-fulfilling relationship. In my research and coaching practice, I’ve also observed that women have greater success in love when they turn within to find motivation and make decisions; internal validation is what helps find and attract the right man. (more…)

Prune the Past to Find True Love

Pinch back to find true love

This morning my husband and I were working in the garden, and he asked me why my potted petunias were especially beautiful this year.

They’re fuller, more vibrant and healthier than we’ve ever seen them. I told him I finally realized I was supposed to pinch back the dried out and dead blossoms to allow the new ones to grow and flourish. We talked about our many rose bushes that are regularly pruned by the gardener, and occasionally my husband gets pleasure from pruning and later seeing more luscious roses appear. He then mentioned he’s curious if I believe there’s a metaphorical meaning about pruning related to people and to life.

As I thought about it, I told him I believe pruning is symbolic of the cycle of life, where the old die and babies are born to grow and age to carry on life. Everything living eventually dies to prepare for the new to arrive, hopefully advancing our personal lives and our culture. Then it occurred to me that the same applies to letting go of old romantic relationships to make room to find true love. (more…)

Being Present For the Love of My Life

I almost missed the love of my life

In my book Choose Him: How to Get Clear, Define What You Want, and Attract the Man of Your Dreams, I talk about expressing authentic personal power, which I believe was a key to attracting the love of my life. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I had decided to write out in great detail exactly what I wanted in a man and my relationship with him; and that I would have that man or be happy remaining single. My definition of authentic personal power is when you make conscious choices and decisions from a place of present-moment awareness and clarity—knowing what you feel, what you want, what is real, and what is really happening. To get to the place of present-moment awareness and clarity, I needed to learn how to be fully present, allow myself to feel my true feelings. Then I had to force myself to stay out of my active mind, which distracted me from what was actually happening in my life.

Being present was not as easy as it sounds.

I thought I knew what it meant, but it took a lot of practice to get there and to become aware of the subtle ways we avoid being fully present with ourselves, as well as with others. (more…)

How To Find True Love By Watching TV

Raise your hand if you watched The Bachelorette finale last night. I was more interested in this version of the series, perhaps because Ali struck me as a bit more authentic than some of the previous women on the show. (I loved that she didn’t seem to care at all when her hair was soaking wet and she looked a bit like a drowned rat on that cold Cape Cod beach.) That Roberto would be in the finale seemed like a foregone conclusion, given their instant chemistry (which Ali acknowledged on the first episode by giving him her First Impression rose). (more…)

Love Poetry to Get from Your Head to Your Heart

The man of your dreams is attracted to you from your heart

I want to share with you what it means to get out of your head and into your heart.

This is really important when creating or manifesting anything in your life, including the man of your dreams. The first time a friend of mine said to me that I’m in my head a lot and should try to stay more in my heart, I was like, “Huh?” I had no clue what she meant, because I believed my mind held everything I needed to know. I believed that all of my thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, and intuition were processed in my mind, from which I could retrieve any answers I needed. To that point in my life, I’d been very successful in business and had attracted positive things into my life using my mind, so why would I need to be in my heart? And more important, how do I get there? (more…)