Fear of Success in Finding Mr. Right

If I find Mr. Right, it may turn out wrong

Are you fairly confident in your overall personal package – looks, financially stable, no baggage

– but when it comes to finding Mr. Right, you get feelings of pressure around sustaining a good relationship once you’ve found it? Perhaps you’re a high achiever and worry that you won’t be able to meet potentially higher expectations from your dream man or for your relationship. Could it be you’re afraid of commitment? Or, is it possible you have a fear of being “found out?” What I mean by that is the fear that Mr. Right won’t think you’re all that special once he gets to know you well.

I have friends and clients who truly want a man in their life, but they’ve struggled with finding him. In fact, for some it’s turned out he’s been there all the time, but they just couldn’t see him or allow him into their life. They had what I call a fear-of-success wall up, shielding themselves from finding the ideal partner for fear it won’t work out. Some of the reasons might be:

• You’ve been hurt badly in a previous relationship and never want to experience that kind of pain again

• You’re afraid of intimacy and lack trust in men or people in general; getting too close to someone may feel unsafe

• You’re afraid of being trapped in a role with a partner that limits your independence and freedom to retain many parts of your life that you love

If you fear success in finding Mr. Right, there’s a likelihood that you think it’ll be a fluke of luck to actually find him; versus the fact that you actually can decide the kind of man you want and attract him to you. One of the things I suggest to overcome this fear is to recognize that you can choose the kind of man who’ll match your most intimate and personal needs. In fact, that’s why I wrote a book on this very topic called Choose Him, as well as designed an online visioning tool called a Story Creator to help women get clear about what really matters to them in a man and their relationship and life together.

Do Love and Life Differently: Instead of being fearful of finding Mr. Right, decide what you want and attract the ideal man to you. It’s no accident that you haven’t met him.

Do you think you may be a victim of fear of success with a man? Please comment below.

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