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Rules for the Man of My Dreams

The man of my dreams understands my need for space

in which I question some of the rules, standards, and expectations women may link to the idealized “man of my dreams”.

Before I met him, when I thought of the man of my dreams (who’s actually my current husband), I knew I needed much more than a list of qualities. I recognized that something had to change in either the way I was pursuing the man of my dreams or in my expectations for him and our relationship together. It turned out to be both.

I needed to get clear about what I wanted, which may sound simple to some of you, but I assure you it wasn’t easy. After two previous marriages and a couple of long-term relationships, a light bulb finally snapped on making me aware of the perspective from which I’d been pursuing a partnership. I wanted a romantic partnership, not the traditional concept of a relationship or marriage from my mother’s era. (more…)

Rules from Love Poetry

Will I perish without the love of my life?

“So dear I Love him that with him, all deaths I could endure. Without him, live no Life.”~William Shakespeare from Romeo & Juliet

It’s three hours into my five-hour flight to Hawaii with my sisters for our annual getaway. We just finished watching the movie Letters to Juliet about a young writer, Sophie, who travels to Italy with her fiancé. He turns out to be extremely passionate about his restaurant business but not so attentive to her. While they’re in this beautiful, romantic town of Verona, the place of Romeo and Juliet’s ill-fated love, Sophie’s fiancé immerses himself in work and leaves her alone most of the trip. Sophie finally decides that she didn’t miss him that much (the cute guy she met influenced her a tad too). She dreamily concludes that any woman who believes a man is the love of her life would want to spend “every moment with him”. I flinched. (more…)

The Love of My Life Ain’t A Hearts & Flowers Guy

The man of my dreams has swagger

Hm..Hm..Hm. Some of us sure love a rugged man.

You know, the kind of guy with a working man’s hands, doesn’t mind getting dirty, maybe a little on the wild side. Then there’s the guy who’s cool, intriguing with a bit of swagger about him; and don’t let me forget the unpredictable, untamed guy who marches to the beat of his own drum. Oh! And what about the strong, silent type that you love to watch working with a jack hammer or scaling a tall building. I’ve dated all of them. Hahaha!…Yeah, really.

The love of my life loves me & his tractor

I went a bit overboard with photo images in this post because I realized how many different types of men there are out there, and there’s no way I could have typecast all of them. Today I was thinking about all the great guys out there that a woman could call the love of my life. What I realized is that a lot of these ruggedly intriguing, swaggering men aren’t the hearts-and-flowers kind of guys. And that’s okay. (more…)

Find True Love by Chance or Choice

This is no way to find true love

I really do love this quote.  I wonder how many people believe they have choices in what happens in their lives.

 How many believe life just happens, and they have no control over events?  To me, this is a victim mentality that causes people who think they have no influence to continue to create or allow situations in which they can remain victims.  This sounds pretty cold-blooded, but it’s true and I’ve personally experienced this at times in my own life.  It’s so much easier to blame others for things going awry in our personal lives. 

I know how difficult it is to recognize that we create everything that happens to us in our lives, as well as what doesn’t happen to us. In other words, we can create situations where we don’t get what we really want. My philosophy is that I want to live and die by my own sword, as the saying goes; meaning I can accept what happens to me—good or bad—as long as I’ve made a conscious choice. (more…)

Is the Man of My Dreams Just a Fantasy?

My dream man will also be my soulmate

We often refer to the man of my dreams, and yet I really wonder how many

women have actually figured out exactly what they mean by that phrase. How do you distinguish between the man of my dreams versus my fantasy illusion or perhaps someone you feel is really not possible to have? We’re not supposed to be too picky, right? Nobody’s perfect, right?

While those questions may be legitimate, it’s amazing to me that most women I’ve known believe that they’re not supposed to ask for, or expect too much, from the man with whom they’d like to spend the rest of their lives. Actually it’s not really that incredible, since I was one of those women fifteen years ago. (more…)