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Find True Love by Chance or Choice

This is no way to find true love

I really do love this quote.  I wonder how many people believe they have choices in what happens in their lives.

 How many believe life just happens, and they have no control over events?  To me, this is a victim mentality that causes people who think they have no influence to continue to create or allow situations in which they can remain victims.  This sounds pretty cold-blooded, but it’s true and I’ve personally experienced this at times in my own life.  It’s so much easier to blame others for things going awry in our personal lives. 

I know how difficult it is to recognize that we create everything that happens to us in our lives, as well as what doesn’t happen to us. In other words, we can create situations where we don’t get what we really want. My philosophy is that I want to live and die by my own sword, as the saying goes; meaning I can accept what happens to me—good or bad—as long as I’ve made a conscious choice. (more…)

How to Get a Guy to Think You’re Hot?

Is this why it's said true love is blind?

To answer my own question, this is not how to get a guy to think you’re hot.

I’m back on the “Bachelor Pad” TV show again because its contestants show us the most unattractive stereotypes of self-degrading, delusional qualities– especially the ladies (I use the term loosely). They’re operating from outdated perceptions of what it takes to get a man to want them; and therefore want a relationship with them; and therefore love them; and therefore commit to them (or marry) for the happily ever-after fantasy. These women not only set a bad example for young girls, but they throw women’s evolution back one hundred years! (more…)

Is the Man of My Dreams Just a Fantasy?

My dream man will also be my soulmate

We often refer to the man of my dreams, and yet I really wonder how many

women have actually figured out exactly what they mean by that phrase. How do you distinguish between the man of my dreams versus my fantasy illusion or perhaps someone you feel is really not possible to have? We’re not supposed to be too picky, right? Nobody’s perfect, right?

While those questions may be legitimate, it’s amazing to me that most women I’ve known believe that they’re not supposed to ask for, or expect too much, from the man with whom they’d like to spend the rest of their lives. Actually it’s not really that incredible, since I was one of those women fifteen years ago. (more…)

How to Enjoy Romance and Find My Soulmate

He sure feels like my soulmate

Whenever I’m asked about the best way to find my soulmate, questions often surface about distinguishing between hot and heavy romance with a sizzling guy and certainty that he’s your soulmate.

Many of us have at one time or another been so sure he’s the one, only to be disappointed and hurt that he’s not? Physical attraction can be alluring and a powerful force that makes it difficult to manage your emotions. So how do you keep yourself from falling hard for a man until you’re certain (and he’s certain) you’re the one.

At long last, when I was able to find my soulmate (I call him my dream man)–Wowee zowee!

It sure was a physical and chemical dilemma to put it mildly!

When passionate sparks flew and everything felt so exquisitely good and right between us, it was a challenge to hold back part of myself and my energy from going into fantasy mode of: “this must be him”. (more…)

To Get A Man, Get A Mirror

How do I need to look to get a man?

Too often I’ve seen women obsessing on creating a perfect physical image.

They often feel that the key to finding Mr. Right is always looking as perfect as they can—just in case he happens into their world. Some of them spent so much time and money on clothes, cosmetics and maintenance that you’d have thought they were actresses or fashion models. (I know, since I’ve been there myself at one time). Ironically, all their perfect facades did was put off the kind of men they claimed they were looking for.

No man is perfect, and few men kid themselves in that way. They don’t expect you to be perfect either. If you’re presenting an illusion to the men you meet of someone you really aren’t, how long do you think it will take for them to figure that out? (Or for you to burn out on sustaining the false image?) Many women tell me they met their partners when they thought they looked their worst. My husband tells me that he was attracted to me the first time he saw me in the gym at 6:00 a.m. with no makeup and my hair tied back. Go figure. (more…)