by Deb Garraway
January 5, 2011
Then there's the crib, clothes, babysitters....
This post is a continuation of my last post related to John,
who he gets home most weeknights at 9:00 p.m. instead of 6:00 p.m., which upsets Mary since he misses 3 hours of evening time that could be shared with her. Thus, arguments ensue. Below are the next steps (#3 and #4) based on the “method” described in my previous post, along with my comments:
3. Invent Options for Mutual Gain
Sometimes situations seem impossible to resolve and your options appear limited; it seems like an either/or situation. Or it appears that it’s the other person’s problem to figure out for themselves. Most people see negotiating a problem as trying to narrow the gap between positions instead of expanding the potential alternatives. The method does not suggest approaching negotiation from those perspectives. It suggests the following process to come up with creative options: (more…)
by Deb Garraway
December 22, 2010
Your perfectly imperfect soulmate
Whenever I hear anyone say, “no one is perfect” or “no relationship is perfect”, I get a little annoyed.
It’s not that I disagree with the literal meaning of either statement, but I wonder why anyone would even want to be with Mr. Perfect. I’ve been in relationships in which I thought I did find my soulmate and wanted to believe he was perfect in every way. Well, I got over that fantasy eventually.
Perfectionism—in this case meaning extremely high expectations in someone or for everything to be smooth-going with no rough spots–is an unrealistic illusion.
Perfection in My Soulmate
Perfection has many different standards to everyone, including some of the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves for what
we think we should be or become for a man.
(more…)
by Deb Garraway
November 10, 2010
Is this the only way to find true love?
Remember the song Free Falling by Tom Petty? This song can be interpreted in so many ways,
everything from he’s happy to be free from a woman he just broke up with, to the other extreme that he’s addicted to drugs and leaves her because she’s a good girl he doesn’t deserve. He has his freedom, but he feels like he’s free falling from a drug high to the ground. Sounds like a very scary thing, like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. Hear it sung by John Mayer here. http://budurl.com/freefall (more…)
by Deb Garraway
November 7, 2010
The man of my dreams gets inspired by nature
Have you ever thought in terms of your story of the man of my dreams?
What I mean by your story is the way you actually imagine yourself living from day to day with your dream man.
Much more than just the qualities he possesses, have you thought through any of the following details? (more…)
by Deb Garraway
November 4, 2010
If I find Mr. Right, it may turn out wrong
Are you fairly confident in your overall personal package – looks, financially stable, no baggage
– but when it comes to finding Mr. Right, you get feelings of pressure around sustaining a good relationship once you’ve found it? Perhaps you’re a high achiever and worry that you won’t be able to meet potentially higher expectations from your dream man or for your relationship. Could it be you’re afraid of commitment? Or, is it possible you have a fear of being “found out?” What I mean by that is the fear that Mr. Right won’t think you’re all that special once he gets to know you well. (more…)
Love Lessons
